to say that i hate my job is to say that salman khan hates pavement dwellers. and this is not a natural hatred, it was nurtured over the last several months, increasing in intensity. it almost reached a climax where i hated the thought of going to office even when it was chilled work, jut because i would have to see those faces.
then....for a few beautiful hours, a paradigm shift!!! i mean, a reversal like no other. the cause: a company event. and not just any event, a very special event. we've had our share of parties, and offsites (though sponsored by a certain other bank whose name rhymes with kc forgan).
nope, this was a big old, daddy-of-all-events, fashion show!!!!!
and it was by some designer called manish malhotra. not that i've heard of him. another proof that my fashion sense reminds me of a compass pointing south. i mean, only the same weekend as this show, i went for dinner with friends to a place called lemon grass, and dekha ki except at our table, every other guy was wearing a collar. even the stray dog outside!! i think it's a delhiite thing to wear tees....
anyway, i had hoped to dress smart, and for the first time in my career, i landed up in a suit. and saw that everyone else was in their sunday best. perfect. out of place, yet again.
my other reaction when i walked in was that of the horny wolf in those cartoons. my mouth dropped open. so much style....so much skin....so much beauty!! some colleagues were looking stunning, as were most other females. it was almost too much on the eyes. one more hot girl, i think, and my eyes would simply have melted, to look like 2 egg whites oozing from my eyeholes
down to business, i grabbed a drink. received a couple of clients. and even before the drink took effect, started globing away about how the markets would continue to fall this week. what else to talk to a tam/mallu/gult/kannad about, when he's present with his wife (who has flowers in her hair) and daughter (who has oil in hers) and when my mouth oozes profanities like a pimple oozes pus (i hope you like the simile)??
luckily, i managed to get away from business talk before they started asking probing questions that would have revealed the shallowness of my knowledge.
then the fashion show finally started, with a lot of hoopla and fanfare....it was good fun. the models were beautiful (only the female ones)....though not hot. i learnt later that they displayed the bridal collection only coz just the previous day at some major fashion event had witnessed yet another wardrobe malfunction (they're becoming more frequent than traffic jams), preventing us from being witness to the beachwear collection. i'm not sure if i was being joked to. it still hurt.
so there were the models, good looking but not hot. hence my gaze was more drawn to one of our colleagues sitting in a skirt nearby, legs crossed
fashion show ended, so now i don't feel like typing anymore. there was not much noteworthy after that anyway. i saw the models filing out....they looked a lot shorter off the ramp and a lot hotter without the bridal wear (maybe that's y guys are scared of marriage!!). bumped into freddy daruwalla....he was also on the ramp, though i didn't recognize him....chatted with him for a bit though. listened in quiet seething rage as he talked oh-so-casually about a model's roaring sex life.
had dinner, couple drinks with a colleague, and finally left around 10:30
achcha, this post has already taken me over 2 weeks to write...i don't want to waste more time on it...in epilogue, i've seen manish malhotra's name pop up a lot more in the news since the show. could be that he's more famous. could be that i'm paying more attention to the world of fashion. could be that i'm gay and attracted to him. kidding. maybe.
till the next blog then!!
Monday, March 17, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
baal dhamaal
guys, i need to complain. please dont laugh. this is an issue which, though mild to start with, has now blown to such proportions that it's very close to my heart. i have almost no sense of humor left about this grave issue. it's an issue which i wouldnt wish on my worst enemy (i.e the one who used to steal my tiffin....u reading this, u bugger?)
i don't how know many of you have had the unparalleled privilege of meeting, or at least seeing me. basically, one of the first things one notices upon viewing my radiant masculine beauty, is that i look much younger than i am. want to know y that is? it's coz i dont have hair. i dont mean on my head (i have enough there, though it's receding faster than symonds' human traits). i mean on my face. and this is the crucial part. the rest of it doenst matter. its what you get at face value.
i don't how know many of you have had the unparalleled privilege of meeting me (i copy-pasted this line from above, please pay attention). many of my close acquaintances know that i'm paranoid about aging. at the ripe age of 23. so when people used to say you look like you're in school/college, i used to be tremendously pleased. who doesnt want to fight age? its only now, in the last few months, that i'm seeing the terrible disadvantages. listed below are some, in ascending order of importance:
1. it's hard to be taken seriously at work. any client i go to meet, will usually ask me what my qualifications are, or will tell me he's been in the markets since before i was born. similarly, within office my nicknames vary from 'little boy' to 'bachcha' to 'baby-face', etc. accusations fly about my company indulging in child labor.
2. outings. luckily movie theatres have stopped checking me (maybe i atleast look older than 18), but certain places where i have had the opportunity to drink, i have had to prove my age. this by the way, includes an international flight where i asked for a beer. that was embarassing. but this is still ok, compared to.....
3. girls!!!! as i said in the previous blog, there are a couple in the gym that i have mad crushes on. not to mention some in office that are in my crosshairs. but the second any of these people see me, they turn away and start talking to guys who look their age (and in the case of gym girls, these guys also look like a puny guy's worst nightmare). in fact, frequently i get the feeling the gym girls are thinking 'what is this kid doing in a gym in the middle of a corporate park?' i'm not to be blamed therefore for my lack of success with girls. its a conspiracy against me from above!!!! it's also His fault i listen to freaky music which has the same effect on girls as all-out does on mosquitoes or diet does on inzy.
so people, if you have any tips on how to grow facial hair without the use of fertilizers or transplanting hair from unsocial body parts, please leave necessary comments. for now, i will go and listen to 'sonata of pain' by 'brain soup'. this one's for you, ladies
i don't how know many of you have had the unparalleled privilege of meeting, or at least seeing me. basically, one of the first things one notices upon viewing my radiant masculine beauty, is that i look much younger than i am. want to know y that is? it's coz i dont have hair. i dont mean on my head (i have enough there, though it's receding faster than symonds' human traits). i mean on my face. and this is the crucial part. the rest of it doenst matter. its what you get at face value.
i don't how know many of you have had the unparalleled privilege of meeting me (i copy-pasted this line from above, please pay attention). many of my close acquaintances know that i'm paranoid about aging. at the ripe age of 23. so when people used to say you look like you're in school/college, i used to be tremendously pleased. who doesnt want to fight age? its only now, in the last few months, that i'm seeing the terrible disadvantages. listed below are some, in ascending order of importance:
1. it's hard to be taken seriously at work. any client i go to meet, will usually ask me what my qualifications are, or will tell me he's been in the markets since before i was born. similarly, within office my nicknames vary from 'little boy' to 'bachcha' to 'baby-face', etc. accusations fly about my company indulging in child labor.
2. outings. luckily movie theatres have stopped checking me (maybe i atleast look older than 18), but certain places where i have had the opportunity to drink, i have had to prove my age. this by the way, includes an international flight where i asked for a beer. that was embarassing. but this is still ok, compared to.....
3. girls!!!! as i said in the previous blog, there are a couple in the gym that i have mad crushes on. not to mention some in office that are in my crosshairs. but the second any of these people see me, they turn away and start talking to guys who look their age (and in the case of gym girls, these guys also look like a puny guy's worst nightmare). in fact, frequently i get the feeling the gym girls are thinking 'what is this kid doing in a gym in the middle of a corporate park?' i'm not to be blamed therefore for my lack of success with girls. its a conspiracy against me from above!!!! it's also His fault i listen to freaky music which has the same effect on girls as all-out does on mosquitoes or diet does on inzy.
so people, if you have any tips on how to grow facial hair without the use of fertilizers or transplanting hair from unsocial body parts, please leave necessary comments. for now, i will go and listen to 'sonata of pain' by 'brain soup'. this one's for you, ladies
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